Basically

It’s kind of hard to explain what happened, because there will be too many details and specifics I cant tell for personal reasons and it’s just really confusing.

Even to me.

But if we are going to water down what happened yesterday morning, here we go.

I’ve been really sarcastic and negative for the past week and two days. I’ve saying things I don’t really mean or things I kept to myself. Keep that in mind.

I was talking to some friends through out the night two nights ago to yesterday’s early morning. Apeggio as usual wouldn’t leave me alone and we were all talking about random things. Aria was trying to come up nicknames for people she knew and I guess we were her approval process. So she got to someone and thought a clam related name would be good, then said it was ironic. I agreed, typing something really sardonic and then stopped myself and left it incomplete.

Aria wanted to know what I was talking about and then she did something that was an accident. You see, we were also having a conversation one on one. We were talking about our shortcomings and then she said, “Remember in Orchestra last year what you said about Arco?”

To the wrong place.

Where the rest of guys could see.

Yay.

She went on the private saying it was an accident and then Arco asks, “What was said about me?”

We both started going like, “NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.”

Aria: If I said, would it really be good blackmail?

Arpeggio: So it’s blackmail.

Coast: Did we not already know how much of a black mailer she is on a weekly basis.

Me: Nothing is coming up roses.

So one on one, Arco asks, “Blackmail?”

Me: Yeah, we kind of keep count of each other’s shortcomings.

Arco: Oh.

Me: Yeah, and I know just saying would set me free and all but I’d just rather not share. I mean, what’s known is known.

Arco: Yeah.. So you like me.

So I know now that now that he was probably guessing but my erratic behavior and responses tipped him off. I was vague and very awkward and then asked why. Then he was vague.

With.

No.

Dashboard.

Confessionals.

Not like there was any to be had beause, well why?

So here I am at 1 am Friday morning, kind of upset and emotionally vulnerable. I typically don’t allow myself to be like that, but I was and I couldn’t stop the flooding of life’s disappointments and mental tears.

I buried my face in a pillow, and I didn’t want to go to school.

Halfway through the day I remembered that he said wasn’t going to be at school today on Monday beause of the family wanting to see his older sister, Ashley, who’s in college.

I just felt so oddballish all day.

When I got home, I messaged him:

“Nothing was misconstrued this morning/last night.”

Then I realized how: “Okay, something happened and it was awkward but I don’t want to revisit it so we are going to move on and I care nothing of your actual opinion so lets just move.”

So I mean, yeah.

Somehow, someway, we just walked over that puddle of awkward and I guess we’re back to our usual.

Although Aria kind of made it slightly awkward at walk ‘n’ talk. But it was more funny awkward and almost just..

Fine.

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7 thoughts on “Basically

  1. Are you okay?

    I hope everything gets okay, I’m hoping it does!

    Cause with Logan I finally know what he did what my letter but it’s not really good…

    So yeah.

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