There’s Nothing Worse

There is nothing worse than sitting in church when your mother looks at her phone, at a message, and starts sobbing. She was quietly bawling but then it grew louder.

She kept repeating, “She stopped breathing.” In between breaths. She sat as heavy as a rock.

Floyd’s, Fletcher’s best friend’s, mother and Rachel, some other girl from church, began picking her up and walking with as my mother was crying her eyes out. I went after them, and later Harper, Tessa, Flecther, and my dad came too.

I found them in the back row of the car we came in, trying to comfort my mother. She was violently shaking as they were talking. My dad began making calls towards our relatives.

She, as in “She stopped breathing.”, was my aunt Hadessa up in Canada who died of cancer. She was diagnosed in January and she was going to turn 49 this month. She was one of my mother’s older sisters.

Floyd’s mother ended up driving us home in the car with Harper, Tessa, and her daughter, Anisa and we left church early. Anisa didn’t understand anything that was going on and was so optimistic, it was actually annoying. Well as annoying as optimism can be.

My mother knelt to the floor in the kitchen while crying and didn’t want to get up. Floyd’s mother carried her to the couch where she kept sobbing louder because the couch was wine red, which was Aunt Hadessa favorite color. I’ve never seen my mother like this.

The rest of Floyd’s family came with my dad and people from church and relatives are coming.

Ivy, Ivory, and Iris are coming too.

It will be a shame if Aunt Elizabeth begins comparing us again.

Floyd’s mother began cooking while my mother was crying at the table that she sat herself at.

The adults made me take everyone else upstairs and watch over them.

So that’s what I’m doing.

And the weird thing is..

I decided to wear all black this morning.

I never even met my aunt.

Float In The Grieving Cyber Space.


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