New Sense Of Being

Where to begin? Ever since Wednesday happened, I’ve been in this really happy haze. In fact, my friends were concerned for me when I was smiling all Thursday and my voice was not constantly dripping with condescension nor sarcasm. Even though skies were gray on Thursday, it kind of awakened me.

On Wednesday, my school had a mini-relay where we paid 5 dollars to go and we walk around the track while also being given the opportunity to pay 1 dollar for either Star Wars Tattoos, Candy, Chips, or even a Shout-Out. All the money, even the admission fee goes to Relay For Life, an international organization that donates proceeds to scientists to find a cure to cancer.  The Shout-Outs were new this year and I already knew for a fact they would be abused. It was actually cheaper last year, it was spiked by 4 dollars this year. Not that I minded because I like giving charity. Last year was pretty chill but I was too exhausted to take the science test when we came back.

It was actually supposed to be on Thursday but since the forecast was 100% chance of rain, they moved it to Wednesday. Payment started on Friday before which was the Good Friday when Aria was hopping around giving out candy. Which also ended up being abused because people tried to take advantage which quickly escalated into me having to drag her away from punching Chiuso in the face. If you went to my school, You had to know it was going to him out of all people to do it. However, in the process my ankle got stepped on by a fight (not Aria) in the hallway. It was kind of painful but I pretended it was nothing until I got home. Anyways, back to where this should be going…

Aria had given me 5 dollars for helping with her Spanish project and I could have given it to Mr. Canto right then and there. But… I had literally just gotten the money and I didn’t want to give it up right then as stingy as that seems. I ended up paying on Wednesday and that was probably a mistake. I was walking down the hallway and then Aria caught me on the way saying for me to wait up as she got five dollars. I didn’t even question the fact that it was Willow’s purse because we’re always borrowing money from each other and paying it back. Roughly 5 years of trust allows us to do things other people might find peculiar.

Apparently, Aria had been in the line before but then Pond went into her backpack to get her money for it was nowhere to seen. So she mde the following three conclusions: Either it’s at home at her breakfast table, stuck somewhere in her stuff or some a–hat stole it from her. It’s actually happened times before. I think the people on her bus are slightly sketchy. Anyways, we began to race down the stairs before the line builtup even worse. There was such a long line that it actually went slightly past the school doors. We were going to walk all the way to the outside when someone stopped us.

“Where are you guys going?” Lake asked.

“Outside.” Aria simply answered.

“Nah, just get in with me. They’re too busy with the issue of crowd control to notice anyone jumping in line anyways.” He waved his hand casually.

Eventually, the school nurse just gave us admission bracelets and took our money. Climbing the stairs, I shared my observation of just how many people were there. Aria simply responded that is simple human nature to procrastinate. Willow sighed at Aria when we walked in because it was apparently her candy money since we were going to be outside for like an hour+. We all decided we’d pool money buy food for each other. Also, all of the girls in my math class also received an invitation somewhere during Math. But I’ll tell you about that later.

Now, let’s fast forward through the basic day to the actual Mini-Relay. It was like 78 degrees out and despite the fact I was wearing flats (which ended up being a mistake), jeans and a thin plaid long-sleeve shirt, I still applied the recommended sunscreen on my hands, face and feet. Mr. Firth passed out Relay for Life paper foots were we wrote our name, pinned it on the 8th grade part of the wall that said “We’re Walking For A Cure.” Only then did I realize that I left my copy of The Outsiders to read while walking in my room to which Willow and Aria that I might finally start talking to people in social environments. Walking was pretty fun actually, we were all together with Aster and Hosta, except Lily who was involved wit her book and often drifted away from us. Lucky her.

Around half-way through, someone did a shout-out to a couple in the 8th grade and from there things started to get interesting. People were practically running, tripping over themselves to get a shout-out in and to be honest, it was pretty hilarious. We were giving Animal Kingdom narrations over the people at the Shout-Out while chewing on all of our candy. 

“Hey, Deals, can I have a dollar?” Aria asked while we were walking.

“Sure.” I handed her a dollar while chewing on my strawberry flavored Sour Punch Straws.

“Thanks.” She said as she got the dollar and skipped to the tables.

I didn’t even notice where she went or what she did because I was too busy listening to Hosta’s insight of Texas.

“So guess what I did?” She grinned after coming back.

“What?” I asked, genuinely interested since she wasn’t carrying any food.

“Bought a shout-out.” She gave a little hop.

“For who?” I chewed more straws.

“Only my favorite ship that can actually happen.” She grinned wider and I instantly paled under the 77 degree sun.

“You didn’t.”

“Oh but I did.” She responded while receiving high-fives from everyone else.

“TORIE, HOW COULD YOU?” My life was going to be over.

“Just trying to shove this ship out of the harbor that’s been sitting in for almost a year now.”

“This earns triple mega super embarrassment points. Guys, the whole 8th grade will hear it!” I complained.

And then it sunk in for everyone.

“Well, not the WHOLE 8th grade. Some people are inside doing work.” Sophie tried weakly.

Then the health teacher read the shout-out and I was dying inside. I instantly noticed that Arco, Ginger, and Creek were in front of us and I started to panic. I sunk to the ground in slight agony and everyone quickly got into a formation to overshadow me to avoid me being seen. I could still see them however and I could only imagine the worst.

“You guys wouldn’t happen to know anything about that shout-out right?” Ginger asked, turning around.

They all shook their heads, Hosta was now nervously gnawing at Skittles she threw into her mouth so she blurt the truth.

“Why are y’all standing like that?” Creek asked.

“It’s a free country, Creek, you got a problem with us standing how we want, huh?” Aria got super-defensive and Willow had to pull her back before she revealed where I was.

“No, I just thought it was- Never mind.” He dismissed it.

Arco wasn’t saying anything. That scared me. 

He asked this quietly, “Where’s Delia?”

My friends broke into a cold sweat.

“Delia? Who even knows where Delia is anymore? Right?” Willow asked back, desperate for back-up.

“Yeah, you know, Delia’s so abstract all over.” Aster intervened.

“One minute, she’s reading by the gates,the next she’s laughing around with Dawn or something, she’s like Houdini.” Daffodil added.

The three of them looked at us, well really them, strangely. 

“Okay, then. We will see you guys later.” Ginger said as they began to walk again.

Well, now we look insane.

“You can come up now.” Aria said.

“Well, there’s no avoiding it now.” Hosta sighed.

I was screwed.

The rest of the Relay was alright, complete with jokes and getting my mind off the problem that laid ahead. After the Relay ended, our A Connection teacher turned us over to our B Connection teachers even though they weren’t even going to teach us anything. It didn’t make sense.

Anyways, there was a sub in Mrs. Anima’s room so Aria and I, me reluctantly, went to Mr. Firth’s room again.

“Can I just sit in supply room and cry until my bus comes?” I asked, seriously.

“Nope.”And she tugged me along as she said hello to Mr. Firth’s kids.

“Are you sure?” I asked, again.

“No, face the music. Or the Spanish. Since we’re in Spanish and not Orchestra… Yeah.” She said nodding as if that made sense.

I found him under one of the large counters on his phone.

“Whatcha doing, friend?” I came in.

“Spending some time alone,” He paused, “Well, not anymore but I enjoy your company.”

“I like you.” I interrupted.


“I like you. Like more than friend, like a crush kind of like. Like like as to speak. A huge like like. I mean crush. God, I’m screwing up. But yeah, I like you. I know I’ll probably never be as chill as Carnation or all-seeing like Daffodil or savvy as Willow, comedic as Poppy, wise as Lily, or cool like Aria but I just like you and I’m me. Me. A complete and utter weirdo confessing her feelings under a large counter in a Spanish classroom that looks more like it was intended as a home-ec classroom. But this school doesn’t have home-ec. It would be cool though if we had home-ec because then maybe I’d be better than sewing. I understand that my friends are probably better than me in every way but I’m giving up my walls for you and I hope, even though you don’t return my feelings that you will at least appreciate this huge effort of mine.” I began and I was not done even I was repeating myself.

“Delia-” He started.

“I like your charisma, your wit, your sense of rationality. That reminds of this song from Panic! At The Disco, don’ know if you know them, but they are wonderful and he song I Write Sins Not Tragedies. Where was I? Right, I like blue-braced smile and the way you kind of know who you are and your whole sense of being. I just found that compelling and I guess that’s why I like you. But who knows there’s a gazillion more reasons more but if I said them I’d seem pretty odd. Ooh, that’s the name of one of their albums! God, I’m getting side-tracked and it’s horrible.”

“Delia-” He tried again.

“Anyways, the fact I even mustered up the courage to tell you any of this is quite remarkable even though the vernacular of to which I’m speaking is slightly incoherent considering I’m running my mouth.”


“Arco, I’m trying to explain myself to protect the fact that I know rejection’s coming and if you could please let me finish where going with his which is actually nowhere, I’d like to-“

“Who said I was going to reject you?”

“You aren’t?”


“Well, what are you implying?”

“What do you think I’m implying?

I went silent.

“I think…,” I said slowly, “the feelings are reciprocated.”


“So then what are we?”

“Whatever you want us to be,” He smiled.

“Unicorns… We can be unicorns…” I started, talking in a mystical voice, “Nah, I need you to answer the following questions:

“Really?” He asked.

“It’s cute!”

“Sure, I would like to go out with you.”

It wasn’t the most romantic way I imagined telling him liked him and asking him out  but I was universally happy and relieved.

I started to throw a rubber ball in the air and catching it. “Everyone’s going to that new coffee place ’round the corner near where the old Best Buy used to be and Bojangles on Friday. You coming?”

“Yeah, and hopefully 

We were basically chilling but it felt like more. 🙂

“Aren’t you coming?” Aria asked.

“Nope, I’m going home with Ginger today. Bye, Delia and Aria.”

“Bye!” I grinned in the doorway as Aria tugged me into the hallway.

“So… what happened?” Aria asked as we walked down the hallway.

“Nothing really. Just that I’m not single anymore, that’s all.” I waved off nonchalantly.


“Yes, siree!”

We hopped giggling and singing and then we straightened out.

“I have to tell everyone.” She cheered, whipping out her phone.

“Wait, I’ll just tell them tomorrow.” I promised.

Thursday as fore-mentioned was pretty great even though it rained because a) Advanced Orchestra was rescheduled to that day and b) just because.

It wasn’t until lunch when Poppy asked, “Okay, what the h-ll is wrong with you?”

“What do you mean?”

Willow started humming the song, “Sorry.” And then she gasped again.

“Don’t.” Aria warned.

“You’re smiley and rainbows and you’ve only said two sarcastic comments in the past 3 hours and those comments were immediately followed by a smile. It’s almost scary.”

“It’s only because she’s not longer lonely,” She paused, “Sh-t.”

“Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag.” I sighed before eating my salad.

“Who is it?” Carnation asked.

“The only one it could have been.” 

“Congrats- Wait.” Willow started, “THAT MEANS YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND BEFORE ME.”

I nodded.

“WHY AM I SO LONELY!!!!” She shrieked into her arms as she covered her head.

Lily simply patted her head while reading.

At the end of the day, we just sat criss-crossed on a table watched this video called Star Wars: The Lost Auditions, leaning on each other for actually since February, Arco and I have been about the same height. It was really nice.

We ended up talking even more than we usually do in the early mornings. I ended up falling asleep at 2 A.M. while watching “Everything Wrong With Pitch Perfect 2” from Cinema Sins. Now only if that actually happened…

Huh? What?


But if I’m going to be legitimate, there was a Mini-Relay, the whole Easter thing happened, there was the whole shout-out debacle but it wasn’t with me because they didn’t want to embarrass me too bad after the whole week of major embarrassment so they instead did it with Daffodil and her is-he or is-he-not-your-boyfriend crush, the gray sky did awaken me, we did actually watch Star Wars: The Lost Auditions during dismissal minus the leaning on each other, I did fall asleep that way, and good things actually did happen this week.

So it wasn’t a TOTAL lie.

AND NOW IT’S SPRING BREAK AND I’M FREE, until testing the week after we come back. I actually planned this from like December but I didn’t know how to go about it. Then Mini-Relay gave me an outlet. >;) I’ll tell you how the ACTUAL relay happened.

Float In The Cyber Space!


3 thoughts on “New Sense Of Being


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