Loss Of Christmas Spirit

So it’s winter break and everyone’s hyped because no school, no finals, NO PROBLEMS. And hey, Christmas is here and gifts are lit! I even went to a Christmas gathering that was very enjoyable. There were happy holidays vibes all around.

So… Why wasn’t I also in the cheer?

I AM a naturally cynical pessimist but even I can’t deny the holiday cheer. Usually. But this year just didn’t do it for me at all. As a person who has family who fight constantly and can’t stand each other, I usually lean on my friends for spirit.

Maybe it was because 2016 was a generally bad year. A lot of things went down globally that made me very upset and disappointed with not only the state of my country… but the world. Seeing racism and bigotry along xenophobia and homophobia arise among us. Perhaps it was the terrorism. That probably combined with the watching of several of my role models pass.

Maybe it was the fact that my family was even in more ruin than past years and my friendships are… not so hot. After losing a lot more relatives, my mother stopped talking to anyone for a week. Additionally, relations with my siblings has not gotten any better with more and more fighting and screaming to the point most of my time is spent away from my family rather with them. This is why I spend most time in my room or out of the house. But there’s always new problems within my friend problems and everyone expects me to automatically fix them.

Or maybe it was the fact that I couldn’t really feel. Except for bouts of some emotions (plus feeling sorry for myself), I didn’t really… feel? I don’t know if that makes any sense.

It was probably a mix of all of these. But in this year of 2017, I hope for the better. 

Float In The Festive Cyber Space!

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10 thoughts on “Loss Of Christmas Spirit

  1. I am so sorry about all the family + friend problems you had to experience last year. I’m in the same boat with you – so many problems came up that I never expected to happen and I was in a world of pain and heartbreak. But things are better and I know that things will get better for you too.
    You’ll have an awesome 2017, I know it 😊

    1. It’s okay, honestly, this year is giving me vibes of peace, I don’t know. And I’m sorry for your year as well. ;-; Thank you, I hope your 2017 is great as well.

  2. It does make sense, your description of not being able to ‘feel’. Sometimes life gets a bit like that and you almost become numb to the feelings. I’m sorry you had to go through all that last year. I hope 2017 is so much better for you, because you deserve a wonderful year❤

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