When A Business Fails You As A Matchmaker

This post is PART 2 of a post I did in January titled, “When A Business Is Your Matchmaker”. That’s why the title might look familiar to some. You probably don’t need to read it, but it gives background information.


HAPPY LATE VALENTINE’S DAY! So two Tuesdays ago was Valentine’s Day, and my crush’s birthday. For that bitter day I made slightly better, I gave handmade colorful Valentine’s Day Cards to my friends with quotes after a particular quote sparked my inspiration. At like 4 am. 

“Promise yourself today to make all of your friends feel like there is something worthwhile in them.” – Christian D. Larson

It was kind of like something I did in the last day of school before Winter Break in 7th grade in which my old crush hugged me for. It just made me feel good and seeing my friends happy made me just… really happy. Cliche but true, honestly.

Speaking of up earlier than I should, at 12 am, I started playing Folie À Deux by Fall Out Boy just because that is one of my only loves and for the blessed lyric of the day, “BOYCOTT LOVE!”

That was also the day the compatibility matches came in for the match quiz we took a few weeks ago during 4th period. 

I would have bought it that day if they had made an announcement about it. All they said was around this week but never said when, which is odd because my school is usually strict about dates of events but okay. I instead watched everyone compare and talk about who they got in their matches which did seem entertaining.

The whole thing about spending 2 dollars to get my list made me slightly anxious because it could be a bust, but the curiosity was killing me! I had to know, just because I might have gotten my crush as a match. So I grabbed two dollars the next day.

The table with the match sheets was outside the cafeteria and people in the SADD club (Students Against Destructive Decisions) were manning them. I saw a junior I knew and then I felt self-conscious about this. Very self conscious.

Was I this desperate? Am I really this lame? 

Thoughts like these were in my head as I requested for my results. I decided I didn’t want to open it until like after school for suspense. It would either end up being marvelous or anticlimatic; it was a toss up. My friends begged to look for me instead and I handed it to them, thinking that anyone I got couldn’t be too bad. That was …until they all either went, “Oh no,” Or started laughing hysterically. 

“What? What is it?” I nervously asked.

And then that’s when they started roaring with tears and near falling from their chairs and passing it around among themselves. I couldn’t understand, Did I just throw away 2 dollars?

Let’s take this time to explain the list structure: You first get your top ten compatible matches. Their names have a parenthesis by it that tells you where you ranked on their list. They put the grades in another column (that doesn’t really matter because I chose the grade list not the school list, because I’m an ugly ass freshman but anyway). And then the last column has the grade they got compared to you. You also get a list of three people of the same sex who seem like you could be best friends with, and three guys they put you in a randomizer with.

Back to the list discussion, they explained that most of the guys on the list were either fuckboys or creeps. Which that just helps my confidence, doesn’t it? My friends agreed that I really could do better than 90% of the guys on the list. I was the ceiling and most of them were 6 feet under, to them.

There was a girl that who was my number one and I was her number one best friend as well. And all of my friends said that we would get on great and be amazing friends. However, I don’t know who this girl is… at all. If I had a clue, I might try to be her friend but again, I don’t know her.

On my list, to almost everyone, there was one name that stood out who was my number three. This name stood out for various reasons, all good ones, thank gosh. The reactions went as following:


“He’s in Acapella Club with my sister.”


“Dude, I love this guy, he’s in my theatre class and in the musical 👌.”

Of course, I knew he was my mutual friend through a lot of people, but I’ve never really spoken to him myself. Plus, he was my crush’s best friend.

My original intentions for this list were for me to just have a little giggle over it, but I actually felt more embarrassed more than anything. To make me feel better about myself, my friends decide to go it and buy some lists of their own. But my friends impersonated the other because all of them also felt self-conscious. Letting me see their lists, I saw that their lists weren’t that much better… except for one of my friends but we don’t talk about how she got pretty hot guys on her list.

I let my crush look at my list as we were walking to AP Bio, before saying that his 4th period teacher had forgotten to turn their quizzes in, therefore, no one in his 4th period was in any lists and didn’t have lists of their own. So now I knew that my crush wasn’t on my list, all of this was anticlimatic. He kind of guided through everyone saying that I probably would get along with not a lot of them. 

“But isn’t that your best friend?” I asked him about Number three on my list.

“Yeah… but that doesn’t necessarily mean that-” He started.

And as if on cue, he came walking down the hallway. My crush then takes it upon himself to whisper scream about him being number three on my list, to which I lightly slap him on the shoulder. I didn’t want other people to know and not him to know because… that’s just hella awkward. 

Well, this post has been just filled with awkwardness actually.

Float In The Cyber Space!!


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